South of Forgiveness

South of Forgiveness

One ordinary spring morning in Reykjavik, Thordis Elva kisses her son and partner goodbye before boarding a plane to do an extraordinary thing: fly seven thousand miles south to meet up with the man who raped her when she was just sixteen.

Meanwhile, in Sydney, Australia, Tom Stranger nervously embarks on an equally life-changing journey, wondering whether he is worthy of this meeting.

South of Forgiveness is an unprecedented collaboration between a survivor and a perpetrator, each equally committed to exploring the darkest moment of their lives. It is a true story about being bent but not broken, of facing fear with courage, and of finding hope even in the most wounded of places. 

Pat Mitchell, former head of the PBS and current chair of the Sundance Institute, says this about South of Forgiveness: 

"A profoundly moving, open chested, and critical book. An exploration into sexual violence and self-knowledge that can only shine a healing light into the shrouded corners of our universal humanity. There is a disarming power in these pages that has the potential to change our language, shift our divisions, and invite us to be brave in discussing this pressing, global issue." 

"Every man, woman and couple should read this book. And the woman and man that wrote it ought to be garlanded with medals. It’s an unprecedented achievement." 

– Sandi Toksvig, comedian and TV presenter

"A book that confronts the stigma of victim and perpetrator, a nuanced path through the minefield of sexual violence, how to confront and speak about these issues is one of the greatest challenges of our time."– Andri Snaer Magnason, author and Presidential candidate

"Written with sensitivity, courage and compassion, this book is a shared, outer and inner journey of recovery. In this intimate account of that journey, the story draws attention to one of the most overlooked perspectives regarding the act and meaning of rape: the shame of rape, harboured by the victim, belongs in fact to the perpetrator. Without any leanings toward self-indulgence, it is a deeply honest exploration of the dynamics of forgiveness and personal transformation. I felt as if I was with them (and their loved ones) on their journey. I will remember it and recommend it for a long time to come." 

– Ian McCallum, psychiatrist, environmentalist, writer and poet


"An incredible achievement. Everyone could benefit from reading this book. I’m certainly richer as a result of having done so.

– Arni Arnason, bassist in The Vaccines

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